Who knows?

Who has the answers, the reasons, the cure?
Who knows how long I will have to endure?
I don't like this game; I'm tired of playing.
And don't tell me "God", 'cause I know He's not saying.
Doctors and therapists, no one quite knows,
Blood tests and studies, nothing that shows.
And why is it so surpising to find
My frustrating conclusion that everyone's blind!
If I can't find the strength to ask when I'm needing,
What makes you so sure I would scream when I'm bleeding?
And if you don't look under the smile to the sorrow,
What makes you so sure that I'll be here tomorrow?

Caren.

Storm of Tears

Storm...

  not passing

Streets flooding

Stopping traffic

Anger rising

Fists pounding

  on my steering wheel.

Can't stop it

Can't stand it.

Tears...

   not ceasing

Tornado warning

Life spinning

Control waning

No turning

  back to how it was.

Can't help it

Can't hang on.

Help is on the way,

   they say...

Meanwhile will I

   just slip away...?

Caren E. Salas

The Words

I can write a story about unicorns and magic.
I can write a poem about Christmas, and December.
But when it comes to writing songs I just can't hear the music,
And it seems it's just the words that I remember.

So that's why I tell you, to say the words,
And tell me everything about you.
I want to know that you'll be my friend,
And I will never have to live without you.

And someday in the future, when I am old and grey
And my feeble memory begins to fall apart
The music will escape me, and I'll dance to it no more
But I'll still have all the words you told me, deep inside my heart.


For my dear friends.

Caren E. Salas

The Waiting Room

Waiting room
Impending doom
Yellow walls
No life at all
A dreary scene
Old magazines
A phony smile
"It'll be awhile..."
Patients sigh
Stay calm? I try.
A minute more
An open door
My time has come
Too late to run.


Caren E. Salas

Flying

I woke up one morning
And wanted to cry
'Cause I knew in my heart
I could no longer fly.

When did I tell myself
Grow up I must!
No more pretending!
No more fairy dust!

And when did I stop
Believing I could
And start to live in a world
Where I do as I should?

How can I find
The place I once knew
Where dreamers can fly
And wishes come true?

Is it still out there
Up in the skies?
Wait, I think that I found it.
It's in my children's eyes.


Caren E. Salas
(For the Peter Pan in all of us)

Hope for the Year

 Here we are starting a new year. I've given up on "New Year's Resolutions" because let's face it, very few people actually keep those promises they make to themselves.  At this time of year, however, I do remind myself of the things I would like to change, or do or be.  I'm thankful I'm still healthy enough to do some of them.  I face the year not necessarily with expectations but with hope.  I don't expect my life to suddenly be sunny and bright. I hope it will be better than it has been in the past. I don't expect to wake up one morning singing songs while I do the housework and loving every minute. I hope I'll be able to get things under control.  I don't expect that my MS will be cured or that I'll stop aging. I just hope for another year of time to spend with the ones I love. 

So Happy New Year to everyone!
Dream big! 
Hope eternally!
Love unconditionally!

Caren.