Time for Christmas

Busy, busy, busy...so much to do!
People to buy for, malls to race through...

Cookies to bake, cards to address,
The relatives are coming, quick clean up the mess!

So many presents under the tree,
That one's for you, this one's for me.

But one gift is missing. It's simply not there,
And it's one that will truely show that we care.

For in the bustle of parties and such,
Sometimes we forget that which means so much.

The Gift of Time.

Time for spending with a friend over tea,
And talking for an hour or three.

Time for hugging someone you love,
And sharing the things you've been dreaming of.

Time for reading with a little one dear,
And whispering "I love you" into their ear.

Time for a phone call to someone afar,
So they know that you love them wherever they are.

Time for a prayer for those who are ill,
A card or a message "I'm there for you still."

Time for old movies that still make you cry,
and for remembering the baby, who came here to die.

So wrap up this gift, and take time to recall
That time is one of the best gifts of all.


Wishing you all Time for Christmas,
   and more to come in the New Year!!



Caren E. Salas

(I wrote this a few years ago, but it's one of my favorite Christmas thoughts.)

Just What I Needed...a Little Whiskey

You make me smile

I am intoxicated

You calm me down

When I'm irritated

You're my addiction

And my therapy

Just what I needed

A little Whiskey.

You make me laugh

At random moments

And when I cry

You give me comfort

I know I'm not alone

'Cause you're beside me

Just what I needed

A little Whiskey.

You help me live

Outside my normal

And now there's no words

Like "impossible"

I just can't get enough

It's plain to see

You're what I needed

A little Whiskey.

Caren E. Salas

My little dog: "Whiskey"

My Big Green Love Note

My love is not a poet

He doesn't dance or sing

He doesn't bring home roses

or gold and diamond rings.

But when I look outside I see

The love song that he wrote

It's made of grass and plants and dirt

My own big green love note.

It's filled with peace and restfulness

and beauty fully grown

It's a place where we can just escape

Without ever leaving home.

Thanks honey,

I love you too.

Caren E. Salas

Sleep.

Sleep eludes me like a child
   playing hide and seek.
I count to ten,
   I cheat.
   I peek.
Ollie Ollie Oxen Free!!
   Okay, you've won.
   I give up.
   I'm done.
No matter where I look around.
Sleep just simply can't be found.
So I'll just wait right here and see...
Perhaps in time, sleep will find me.

Caren E. Salas

She Waits...

The rain begins to fall, in drips
The clock up on the wall just ticks away
In fear of what she does not know
She looks out of the window
And she waits.

And as each moment passes by
She wonders when will it arrive?
The call, the news the clouds and rain
She sits in silent torture
And she waits.

The drops of rain turn into showers
The moments passing turn to hours
Raindrops, teardrops, nothing's clear
She tries to hide the fear
And still she waits.

The showers lead to stormy night
Daylight hours, have taken flight
Sleeping waking nightmares call
She tries but eyes won't close at all
She waits.

The rain begins to slow to drips
The clock up on the wall still ticks away
Her bed, the dark, a warm escape
Tomorrow is another day
To wait.



Caren E. Salas

True West

I'm not sure if it's the season, or the weather or what...but lately I have felt not merely uninspired, but unmotivated. My days just blend, one into the next, as though I'm just replaying the same song over and over.  I have heard people refer to their passions as their "true north", but my love seems to aim more toward a "true west". I turn to the ocean whenever my spirit needs to be refreshed.  I listen to the voice of the waves. I taste the salt in the wind as it bites at my face, and feel the flight of the pelicans as they dive straight down into the sea to catch their next meal.  When I was a young girl I used to swim under the water, and feeling my hair swirling freely, dreamed of being a mermaid.  My heart is made of seashells, my veins are strands of kelp.  My soul longs to swim.

A visit to the beach is what I need. Anyone want to come along?

Caren E. Salas

Coffee.

Coffee.

Drink coffee
Make the bed
Take shower
Put on clothes
Wash dishes
Sweep the floor
Kids' lunches
Off to school

More coffee
Pick up clothes
Do laundry
Pay the bills
Scrub toilet
Mop the floor
Dust dresser
Clean off desk

More coffee
Wipe the fridge
Plan dinner
Check the time
School's over
Pick up kids
Check homework
Start to cook

More coffee
Set out plates
Serve dinner
Can't sit down
More ketchep?
Pass the milk
Wash dishes
Sweep the floor

No coffee

Lock the doors
Close windows
Turn down beds
Kiss goodnight
Turn off lights
Eyes closing
Go to sleep.


Caren E. Salas

The Lies

There are lies people tell us, that we know can't be true.
Still they tell us because that's what they're s'pposed to do.
Go ahead, we are thinking, and say it won't hurt.
Just a pinch, they say rolling the sleeve of our shirt.
We'll take really good care of you. You should be glad.
Now it 's over and see? It wasn't so bad!
Go to hell, we are thinking as we smile through the pain,
And thank them politely, oh, and have a nice day!
I imagine one day, that we'll tire of the sham,
And honestly scream out YOU'RE HURTING ME! DAMN!
But the truth of it is, it won't matter a bit,
If we cry, yell, or haller, scream, shout, or spit,
'Cause the shots, tests and needles never seem to run out,
And they have to be given, with a lie or without.


Caren E. Salas

Questions in the Dark

When did the sun set?
How did the drought start?
Where did my faith go?
What happened to my heart?

What is this dark place?
How did I get here?
Where is my comfort?
Why's there no hope here?


Caren E. Salas

Well, the optimism was nice while it lasted...

A New Day

In an effort to face the days to come in a more positive light, I started writing down some goals, things to think about, ideas to strive for...I need to print them out and tape them up some where so I can be reminded that no matter how dark it gets, there is a light, somewhere out there. There is hope, even if it may not be blatently obvious.

THINK POSITIVE

READ AND WRITE WHENEVER THERE'S TIME

EAT HEALTHY, DRINK (BUT NOT TOO MUCH :)

SING AND DANCE

SCHEDULE TIME WITH FRIENDS

FALL IN LOVE, AGAIN

ASK FOR HELP WHEN NEEDED

CONCENTRATE ON WHAT'S IMPORTANT

RELY ON GOD

BELIEVE IT'S POSSIBLE.











Caren E. Salas

Here's To Say...

The Work is neverending
The problems pile high
Impossible demands and tasks
Could make a grown man cry.

The hours are exhausting
The battles never cease
There is no chance of resting
There's no white flag of peace.

And yet you soldier on each day
Subject yourself to fire
No shield to protect yourself
No bullet-proof attire.

Armed with only strength of heart
And love to see you through,
A peanut butter sandwich
A briefcase and a suit.

So here's to say I see you
And the struggles that you live
The sacrifices you endure
The love you always give.

And here's to say I love you
And as crazy as it seems
The years of tears and laughter
Have surpassed my wildest dreams.

Caren E. Salas

for Bill, Happy Birthday Honey!!

Therapist

Warm hands

Caring heart

Gentle voice

Healing Touch.

Fix the body

Ease the pain

Calm the soul

It means so much.

Caren E. Salas

Summer's Children

Running,
Jumping,
Minds releasing
from too much school.

Splashing,
Laughing,
Fingers pruney
from too much pool.

Tanned
And happy,
Faces beaming
from too much sun.

Hungry,
Comfy
Bodies tired
from too much fun.



Caren E. Salas

Gray

Sometimes I feel so lost, as though the most I can do is survive from day to day. Everything seems gray and dismal. Then, I write. As the words flow from my hands to the page, or to the screen, a little of the pain inside of me goes with it. This purging keeps me sane, or at least keeps me from falling. It's a balancing act. I stand on one foot on the tightrope between Black and White, precariously lingering in the Land of Gray. On one side is hope and the other is the abyss. Sometimes I wobble, sometimes not. Sometimes the Black seems inviting, like a rest from the constant struggle. Sometimes the White seems unattainable, but after all it is hope. So I hold on, and stay here in the Gray.

Caren E. Salas

You don't - I don't

You don't have to be a poet
To say the words "I love you".
I don't have to be asleep
To say that I dream of you.

You don't have to be a scholar
To read the things I write.
I don't have to be a child
To want you to hold me tight.

You don't have to know the music
To dance along with me.
I don't have to be an artist
To imagine what I see.


You don't need to have the answers,
If you see me fall apart.
I don't have to have the words
If you'll listen to my heart.


Caren E. Salas

The Maze

Around each stony corner
Each dark and silent turn
Is a question I can't answer
A secret I can't burn.

Dreams that go unnoticed
Hope that's now decayed
Faith that goes unnurtured
Passions never played.

I grope in utter blindness
For something I can hold
A word to bring me comfort
A shelter from the cold.

Yet like a maze eternal
My path leads into night
No glimpse of moon or morning
No happy end in sight.

Caren E. Salas

Overcast

Not sunny
Not stormy
Not snowy
Not rainy
Not windy
Not cold
Not hot
Not anything...but gray.

Not green
Not purple
Not blue
Not yellow
Not pink
Not black
Not white
Not anything...but gray.

Not happy
Not sad
Not angry
Not surprized
Not excited
Not thinking
Not interested
Not anything...at all.

Caren E. Salas

Step by Step

Step by step
Soft and wet

Footprints left behind

Surf and sand

Land and sea

Poems to unwind

Pebbles, stones

Ocean foam

Life inside a shell

Seagulls cry

Sky so blue

Stories yet to tell.

Caren E. Salas

She Lives

Whenever I'm tempted,
to give into the pain
roll up in a ball
to whine and complain,

I look to my friend
for whom "can't" is no answer.
She acts like an angel,
and fights like a panther.

Nothing's impossible
too much or too far.
When I'm lost in the dark,
she's my shining star.

She dreams and she dares
She loves and she gives
She faces the darkness
She hopes...and she lives.

And though sometimes she feels
that her efforts are small
She's my hero,
my inspiration,
and my friend, above all.


Caren E. Salas


for Becky :)

Mine

Soft and swirling waves,

No two patterns are the same

Fingerprints of mine.

.

.

.

Caren E. Salas

Tasting Happy

I can taste it in popcorn

I get at the fair

as the thick scent of butter

floats in the air

I can taste it in sandwiches:

P B and J

on soft, fresh bread

like mom used to make.

I can taste it in waffles

from the village cafe

watching ships in the harbor

as they sail away.

I can taste it in lobster

and remember a dream

when I feasted like royalty
down by the sea.

I can taste it in chocolate

in moments of bliss

when my love is awaiting
a sweet good-night kiss.

Caren E. Salas

Sailing Away...

I want to sail away somewhere

just vanish without a trace

an island with palm trees and white sand

and a cool breeze caressing my face.



I want to sail away someday

and search for a place to call home

a paradise waits for me I feel sure

a heaven on earth of my own.



Caren E. Salas

No Light

Crawling down a tunnel

Searching for a prayer
Reaching for somebody
Knowing no one’s there.

Straining for a flicker
Stretching for a dream
No one hears me crying
Or even hears me scream.

Crawling down a tunnel
Praying for the light
Hoping for the morning
But knowing only night.

The darkness overwhelms me
The silence takes my breath
It feels like forever
Or even more...

like death.

Caren E. Salas

Your Eyes...

Your eyes tell me secrets

That words wouldn't dare

They speak like a whisper

A hope, or a prayer.



Like rain in the desert

A light in the dark

A vision that sees me

A splash with a spark.



Your eyes sing me love songs

That no one can hear

They try like a promise

A smile, or a tear.



Like ice that can melt me

A fire that cools

A sweet dream that wakes me

The last broken rule.



Your eyes give me stories

And poems to write

The moon in the morning

And the sun, out at night.



Caren E. Salas

The Music

I waited

patiently on the shore

for the music of the sunset

a song of ocean...and sky

It started

simply, just a note

a monotone of pale blue

a soft chiming of wispy white

I watched

silently as clouds

played the melody in pink

adagio in a violet sky

It played

softly in my mind

a cacaphony of color

a symphony of light

I listened

carefully to the sea

the yearning, somber harmony

the echoes of the deep

It finished

melting into peace

the sun's final crescendo

enveloped by the sea.

Caren E. Salas

Siren's Song

My muses sing

a Siren's song

Sighs from the sea

Blue...

and light

A dream for me

to write.

It calls to me

a silent song

Holds me so tight

Calm...

and deep

A lullabye

to keep.

And when I wake

a shining song

Whispers my name

Bright...

and green

A brand new day

to dream.

Caren E. Salas

Climb Every Mountain...

During our recent trip to Yosemite, my oldest daughter and son, along with my husband, attempted to hike to the top of Half Dome. It's about 17 miles round trip and a tough hike even for experienced hikers. They encouraged each other on farther and farther until they reached the marker for the final 2 miles. At that point, they realized that if they were to continue, they may not make it back. A failure? Hardly!! They got farther than many people would have even dreamed about. Their goal was the stars, and maybe they didn't reach it, but they got far enough to look down at the earth and say, "Wow." I think we all need to aim for the highest point we can, yet know when it's okay to say..."Maybe next time." And hopefully you say that before you need to call the Rangers and be taken out by helicopter!

As for me, that morning as they prepared to set out on their adventure, I wished them luck and thought "Maybe next time I'll go too". As Mother Superior said (Sound of Music) ..."Climb every mountain...til you find your dream."

Logan

My nephew has a Facebook page called "Fans of Logan's Quotes" which is very encouraging. He's only 21 but seems to have some really great insights. Look it up! Meanwhile, here's one:




"Don't be afraid to be afraid, fear drives the soul to do what is not normally possible, to do the impossible, to reach amazing feats. Never was there a mountain so high that it was insurmountable, never was there a distance too great that it couldn't be traveled, and never was there a reason why you couldn't be the greatest thing on this earth. Don't let life prevent you from being amazing, you are special and need to shine like a star, otherwise, you are but a sand crab hidden from the world, only to be stepped on by some careless little kid. Be great. Be amazing. Be wonderful. Be unbelievable."-Logan Robinson

Abyss

The Abyss

Absent of light and warmth,
Crushing and harsh
Pressure intense
Invading my skull
Assaulting my will

Defeating my soul.

It rings in my ears
The silent screaming
Of every cell,
Every tissue burning,
Searing, slashing
Shattering any sense of peace
Any hope of salvation
Any dream of rest
Any fading prayer
of anything...

But darkness and cold
In pain and alone
Pressure intense
Purging my strength
Demanding surrender.

Defeating my soul.
Defeating my soul.


Caren E. Salas

WHITE BIKE

White bike
Broken spokes
Tires flat
Chain off track
Peddle missing
Handgrips black
Rust is growing
Rubber cracked.

Still, she says,
A little paint
A lot of love
It could be great.

Caren E. Salas

I wrote this for my daughter Lauren, who can always spot the possibilities.

The World's Edge

It's not only Captain Jack Sparrow and Davey Jones who are brave enough to seek out the World's Edge. On a recent trip to the desert, we visited Joshua Tree National Monument, a national park known in part for its giant piles of enourmous boulders. At a point called simply "Keys View", we hiked up a small (yet steep) hill and, upon reaching the top, were able to look out over miles of desert. We could see the San Andreas Fault, and we even caught a glimpse of the Salton Sea. There, for a few moments, looking over the expanse, the wind blowing in my face, I felt... invincible. Jack and Davey have nothin' on me.

YOU ARE HERE (well, soon)

Okay, I know I said that the beach is my favorite place to be, but I have to say that coming in a close second (I'm talking photo finish) is Yosemite National Park. Pictures can't do it justice. You just can't imagine the size and grandeur of it . Why do I bring this up? Because my family is headed there this summer. The kids are counting down the days and frankly so am I. We all take our bikes and once we are there, we pretty much walk or ride bikes all over the valley. I'm surprised that I haven't run anyone over since I tend to be looking up and around, instead of where I'm going. There is a serenity there (once you get away from the tourists) that I can almost taste, and my entire being gets refreshed. There is no place to be in a hurry. There are no appointments. No pressures (aside from altitude). I feel like I can do anything when I'm there. Unfortunately, my body reminds me afterwards that well...maybe I did push it a bit - ouch. But sore muscles do heal, and would I have passed up the chance to climb to the top of a waterfall in exchange for comfort? Not on your life.

So on days when things get crazy and I'm tired and just want to escape. I look at a picture like this and think....soon.

PB and J

Nothing's better than

Peanut-butter jelly fish

Sandwiches on toast.

Caren E. Salas

My attempt at haiku. Just playin' :) You knew it had to be about the ocean, and well, it's almost lunch!

Now I lay me down to sleep...

...to sleep, perchance to dream, ah, there's the rub. Truth is, I don't dream very often any more, or at least I don't remember my dreams. I used to dream of flying, and I would wake up feeling elated, as though I actually could soar through the clouds, and sail far above the earth. My spirit would be lightened, and I felt as though anything was possible. So what I want to know now is...where did I put those dang wings?? When was it that I wandered beyond the boundries of Neverland? How do I get back? Perhaps the characters in my stories can.... Yes. Michelle, and Kessa and even Hagatha will be my happy thoughts, and my fairy dust. So...here I goooooo! The second star to the right, and staight on til morning!!!

(Thank you to Wm. Shakespeare and James Barrie for my inspirations)

Sunsets and Smiles

In this time of teetering economies and tightening of belts, I try and remember how much fun we can have without having to spend any money at all. My husband, Bill and I love to go down to the beach and just walk around, people watch, nature gaze and just act like kids. We love to take pictures of each other, the more embarassing the better. The benefit of digital cameras is that you don't even have to pay to get them developed. You just download them and enjoy them whenever you want (barring a power failure or computer crash.) Early in the morning we may search for seashells. At night we study the constellations. This picture was taken sometime around midnight in Huntington Beach. The lights of the city were beautiful and there were still people wandering around socializing and enjoying the warm Southern California night. How great is that? Gotta' love it.

Spring

There's something special about Spring. It seems to wake us up from the long sleepy months of winter. The days get longer and warmer. April showers clean up the atmosphere, leaving behind starched white clouds and an endless blue sky that makes us envy the birds. Everything and everyone around us seems to be in love. And why not? Love is one of those things, like Spring, that gives us youth no matter how old we may be. So, my friends, happy Spring! Live, love, try something new, or just look into the sky and dream of flying.

the Humming-thug

I have a humming-bird feeder outside the window of my bedroom and I love it. Everyday it is visited by humming-birds of all colors and types. There is one bird, in particular, who seems to think he owns the joint. He comes up and drinks a while, then sits on a nearby branch and chases off any other birds that try to take a sip. I call him Paulie (as in Walnuts, not "wants a cracker") I have to admit, he is gorgeous. At first glance, his tiny green body and black head don't look like anything special, but then he'll turn his head to look at me, and the sun hits the feathers on his head in just the right way to show that they are really a brilliant magenta. With a bright flash of color that seems to glow against the browns and greens of the garden, he darts back and forth to the feeder and back to his branch. Of course on the day I took my camera out there, he wouldn't stay still long enough to get a shot. Instead, he flew right up in my face, as if to say (Al Pacino style) "What chu lookin' at? You lookin' at me??" I flinched,as the image of being skewered by that needle-like beak, went through my head. I was, however able to get a few shots of those he "allowed" to stop in for a quick nectar martini at the Bada Bing!

A New Day

Hello! It's a new day. I haven't written for a few days, but I'm back from the dead and ready to go. I even have a plan. Granted, my record for sticking with plans I've made in the past, is sketchy at best, but I'm going to try one day at a time and see how far I can go. The "Ms. Consistency" award may never be engraved with my name, but I might just get the "Ms. She Tried Real Dang Hard" honorary ribbon...or something. Who knows?
You may have noticed...or not, that I'm a bit scatter-brained today. Not sure why. Just one of those days, I guess. I'm thinking maybe the soap bubbles from the cleaning products I've been using in my house have made their way into my head. They aren't popping because there would have to be something in there to bump up against. Feeling completely devoid of inspiration, but hey, this could work out. I'll just clean my house until I think of something great to write about. I'm sure that's how they came up with stories like Cinderella, or Winnie the Pooh. (I just rearranged the menagerie of stuffed animals on my daughters bed.)
A special hello to my favorite reader in Florida! Okay, my only reader in Florida....oh, all right already, my only reader period, but still my favorite! Hi Lorraine!

Dreaming of the sea...

My daughter on Mandalay Beach at sunset. Does it get any better?

Another Monday...

Well, another Monday is here, and here I sit... thinking about the things that I need to do: cleaning, paying the bills, doing the filing, deciding what I should have for dinner...The things I want to do are much different. I want to take a walk on the beach, listen to the waves, maybe sketch out a dream or make a sand castle. I want to write a new story. I want to listen to Rachmaninoff, and dance in my living room. Yet life consists of the good and bad, the things we want to do vs. the things we must. So off I go to clean out the refridgerator, and make sure there's enough money in the bank to cover the car payment. My mind will be deep in the sea, swimming with Mermaids and Octopi. There will be days to write it all down another time.

Eat, sleep, breathe, write.

Yesterday I was writing in my journal and realizing what a basket-case I would be if I didn't write. I started thinking about how true artists of any type need to do what they do. Whether it's the authors of novels or poets or composers or painters. Throughout history, people have created things to express emotions that they couldn't express as well in any other way but through their art. An idea gnaws at their beings, eating them up until it forces it's way out. Sometimes they can't get it out fast enough, and they, like the artist VanGogh, succumb to insanity.
Looking through my own words in my journal, I found frustration and fear and loneliness. When I write stories I write the opposite. It's as though my journal is real life, and my stories are the world I create to escape that life. Both are necessary to my mental health I'm certain. The funny thing is, my poems, for the the most part, are the opposite. The best ones are about pain. To write poems about happy things seems to take more effort for me. I wrote a poem for children about my dog once...but it was about when he was lost, and how helpless it made me feel. But hey, what child doesn't know how it feels to lose something they love? And what child doesn't know how it feels to be helpless in a situation?
The point of all this rambling is just to say that this is not just what I do. It's who I am. It's what I need to do to live. Just like eating, sleeping, breathing...I have to write. Whether or not I get published, or if anyone but me takes the time to read what I write doesn't matter. Heck, people were using VanGogh's paintings to cover up holes in the wall, and as dartboards. Still, he went on, painting his dreams and nightmares, and I go on..
... writing mine.

Back in time for a little fun...

No, I don't mean I got back in time, I mean I went back in time...so to speak. My 9 year old's class had "Gold Rush Day" in school. They sang songs from that time period, did some square dancing, learned about the miners' life and even panned for "gold". Granted, I could have gotten more gold out of the bottom of a Goldschlager bottle, but hey, she had fun. California History - gotta' love it.

In the off moments of my school/taxi service I spent a little time trying to figure out where to send the manuscript for my novel. I keep thinking it's ready to send, and then I think of something I want to change or add and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get it out there. I'm also thinking more seriously about getting an agent. A friend of mine, who is an actor, says he loves having an agent because people tend to take him more seriously. And although you have to give the agent part of the take, I'm thinking it will be worth it in the long run considering all the research I have to do just to find a publisher/editor to even look at my work. It's a thought anyway.

But now, I have to take care of more important issues...4th grade homework, teen drama, how to get my son off of YouTube long enough to get some exercise...

Well...here goes.

The point of this blog is, for the moment, merely a way for me to keep a journal. I just want to document little snippets of my life from time to time. If anyone but me is reading this...you have way too much time on your hands. Really. Way. Seriously, if it wasn't my blog, I'd surely have no time to read it. That said, the benefit of having no real fans is that I can pretty much write whatever the heck I want. Any way that I want. So, don't go trying to correct the grammer or spelling, or leave comments that this blog sucks, because honestly, if you have the time to read it, you obviously have no life. (This does not apply to my fabulous friends or dear relatives of course...okay, maybe some of the relatives.)
So hear goes...my first official post. I feel so special. I'd give you all a big hug and kiss...but I have a really bad cold and trust me...you don't want my cooties.