EVERYTHING

It doesn't always feel like

Everything will turn out well

But let me just assure you

That it will. Just look at us

Together we can make it

Everything will be okay.

Everything will be okay.

Caren E. Salas

FIZZZZZZZZZZZZ....

I know a little bit about making plans

And then seeing them dissolve

Like Alka Seltzer in a glass of water

Plop. plop.

Fizzzzzzzzz

Watching the mental masterpiece,

The glorious dream that you've spent your life creating,

Suddenly covered in graffiti, and tossed aside.

Overwhelming feelings of shock, anger, frustration, sadness

But mostly fear well up like an out of control tsunami.

Breathe.

You can try and clean up the mess

You can look at it as a challenge and turn the graffiti into flowers

Or

Fizzzzzzzzzz

You paint the whole damn thing with white, and start over.

Be careful not to dip your paintbrush in the Alka Seltzer.

You're going to need it.

Gulp.

There you go.

Remember, I've been there.

I'm here now.
(and not just me)

I'm kind of...the glass.

Hold on to me.

Caren E. Salas

Photo: www.everydayhealth.com

HANG ON

His eyes cry out, but no words
Come from his lips. I refuse
To listen. It hurts, I know.
Don't give up, she wouldn't want
You to say good-bye just yet.
Hang on just a while longer.

I try to tell him without
Speaking. Things will get better
You have a new great grandson
On the way that you should meet
And all of us who love you.
Hang on just a while longer.


Caren E. Salas

THE ARMS OF GOD

For us, time stood still

The moment that the doctor

Said, I'm so sorry,

We did everything we could,

But she's in the arms of God.

It happened so fast;

No time to say our good-byes

Or that we loved her.

But she knew. I know she knew

Watching...from the arms of God.

Caren E. Salas

Just a Dream

Sometimes I think

It was just a dream

Another life

Me, imagining.

My dancing shoes

Have gathered dust

My singing voice 

Is a little rusty.

My body is tired.

My song is sad;

A quiet echo

Of what once I had.

But still I try

No giving in,

Discouraged by

What could have been.

It may not end 

The way I planned,

But I'm on my feet

And I can make a stand.

And if I can stand,

Then I can dance.

Another show.

Another chance.

I refuse to quit.

No surrendering,

And never stop

Remembering...

That once I thought

It was just a dream

Another life

Me, imagining.

Caren E. Salas

Photo: CSUDH  "A Chorus Line" 1988

Counting Spoons

Twenty-four shiny measuring spoons

One for each hour of my day

How will I use them? What will I do?

Can't let them be wasted away.

Three to wake up, shower, get dressed

Taking my daughter to school: one more

Making my breakfast takes maybe a half

But shopping for groceries takes four.

A third of them gone and it's not even noon,

And there's so much left to be done.

To dust and to vacuum sucks up about five

If I sit folding clothes that's just one.

When I pick up my daughter, I'll stop at the bank

And stop at the dry cleaners too

That's about six gone, but dinner and dishes

Will take up five more and I'm through!

I'm over my budget of energy spoons

So tomorrow I'll be starting with less

Twenty-two and a half, but a new list of chores

You just can't imagine my stress.

Which, by the way, takes it's own toll in spoons

Depleting the few I can use.

And sadly the deficit continues to grow

There's nothing about this I'd choose.

But once in a while I have a great day

And somehow that seems to renew

My little supply of slightly bruised spoons

Sometimes even extras accrue.

So I plug along, counting my spoons

Knowing all will work out in the end

As long as I have a few really good times

And the help of my family and friends.

Caren E. Salas

Inspired by "The Spoon Theory" by Christine Misorandino

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

Way Too Fast

The final hours tick away

Time's flying way too fast

I'm not quite ready for this show

To be part of my past.

To quote the song "Who will buy..."

These moments that I've shared

With people that I've grown to love

Risking all I'd never dared.

Caren E. Salas

photo: coarchitechs.com

The Leap

Years of lost dreams

Excuses and reasons

Watching my life pass

Just counting the seasons.

And through all that time

I laughed and I cried

Thinking one part of me

Had already died. 

I gave up on hope

And who I used to be

Wishing new friends had met

The girl who was me.

But just when I thought

All my chances had passed

A fuse was re-lit

Now I'm having a blast!

Convinced to go back 

To the girl I once was

With the person I am

To again hear the applause.

That girl wasn't gone

Maybe just gone to sleep

And I'm not sorry that I 

Was pushed into the leap.

Caren E. Salas

Sometimes you need a nudge, a push or even explosives to encourage the leap of faith that changes everything. Thanks to my friend Jane, whose answer to "I'll just watch," was "No. YOU should audition." and to my husband Bill, who agreed: "You should. Do it." You both must know you've created a monster. Love you.

The Battle

The sand in the hourglass

Flows like a mighty waterfall.

It flips over and over, until it's spinning

Like a pinwheel in a hurricane.

I watch hopelessly without the strength 

To hold even a few grains of it's sand 

As they slip through my fingers like rain.

I scream. I cry in the night, clinching my fists;

Losing the battle against the relentless passing of time.

The darkness and cold embrace me;

No way to stoke the fire inside

That might save me. Sometimes I barely feel 

The glow of it's embers, as my will 

To struggle increasingly wanes. I'm falling,

Too intensely worn, to continue a battle

That I will not win.

I scream. I cry in the night, clinching my fists.

Losing the battle against impending eternal night.

But...I fight, yes fight I must,

Because the war isn't over just yet

I continue steadfast

And though the time flies, and life fades to black

I still dream. I will dream.

And I scream, and cry in the night, clinching my fists

Maybe losing the battle, but never surrendering to the war.

Caren E. Salas

photo: http://wall.alphacoders.com

Twenty-Fifteen #22

Good bye twenty fourteen,

And your ups and downs

The smiles and tears

The sights and sounds.

I made some mistakes

But in some things I shined

Tried to keep up with everything

But still fell behind.

Now it's twenty fifteen

And one thing is clear

It's a chance to let go 

And start fresh this new year.

Caren E. Salas

Prompt #22 - Release

The Dark - Day 6

Sometimes you have to try and survive

The coldest and stormiest night,

To know how it feels when the sun hits your face

And the joy when dark turns to light.

Caren E. Salas

The prompt today was "Happy now" as in are you happy now, or are you HAPPY now? I went with the first option...

Somewhere

Sometimes

Life sucks

A dream dies

A child cries

A heart breaks

And there's no place

To run away and hide

Sometimes...

Some days

All's lost

Hope fades

The game's played

The rain pours

And there's no more

Wishes to be made

Some days...

But somewhere

I know

The sky is blue

The day is new

We'll get the chance

To get up and dance

Like we don't care

Somewhere...

Sometime

Some day

Somewhere.

Caren E. Salas

Just Do It - Day 3: A "Tentative" poem

Standing on the edge of the swimming pool

Black lines across the bottom, the cool blue

Sides, tiled with numbers: 3 feet, 4 feet, 6.

Inhale, exhale...one foot slowly lowered

Into the water. The smell of chlorine

And the sound of ripples lapping against

The steps. Hesitation. Fear of the cold...

Not fear really, but anticipation

Of that sudden shock before adjustment.

Inhale, exhale...just do it. Just do it.

 

 

Caren E. Salas

Stand Tall

Always stand tall
Whatever you do
With a heart burning brave
And a life that shines true.

Don't ever have doubts
Let your dreams take you far,
Why reach for the sky
When your soul owns the stars?

But if on your journey
It feels lonely, or rough,
If your will and your strength
Ever don't seem enough;

Just keep standing tall
Keeping this thought in mind:
Those who love and support you
Are not far behind.


Caren E. Salas


This is for Nate, my unofficially adopted son, and for Sharon, his real mother, who has a brave heart too.

She Lives

Whenever I'm tempted,
to give into the pain
roll up in a ball
to whine and complain,

I look to my friend
for whom "can't" is no answer.
She acts like an angel,
and fights like a panther.

Nothing's impossible
too much or too far.
When I'm lost in the dark,
she's my shining star.

She dreams and she dares
She loves and she gives
She faces the darkness
She hopes...and she lives.

And though sometimes she feels
that her efforts are small
She's my hero,
my inspiration,
and my friend, above all.


Caren E. Salas


for Becky :)