APPARENTLY (Day #14 Form or anti-form) A Triolet

Apparently we all have way too much stuff

We've collected things and now it seems we just can't let go

Until the day that we say "Enough is enough!"

Because apparently we all have way too much stuff

Deciding what to give away is tedious and tough

We justify holding on to it, but deep inside we know

That apparently we all have way too much stuff

We've collected things and now it seems we just can't let go.

Caren E. Salas

WHAT DAY IS IT? (#7 Days of the Week/Weak)

Sunday: Day of rest

Monday: Already tired

Tuesday: I just can't...

Wednesday: Is it Friday?

Thursday: Will it end?

Friday: Oh thank Goodness!

Saturday: Time for fun!

Caren E. Salas

WHOSOEVER FINDS MY MIND (#4 Whosoever --)

Whosoever finds my mind

If you perhaps could be so kind

As to let me know?

For while it's clear that it's not near

I realize my greatest fear

It'd be the first to go.

If all my parts are a la carte

My stomach, liver, lungs and heart

My mind should be the glue

So keep an eye open, wave and shout

If you should see my mind about

Please let me know, could you?

Caren E. Salas

photo: conferencesthatwork.com

I Have Returned...

Sorry about the long absence, but these last couple years have been a roller coaster. There has been good and not so good, stress and excitement. I was recently fortunate enough to see the musical
"Hamilton" and the lyrics of one of the songs ("Non Stop") says "Why do you write like you're running out of time?" (Thank you Lin-Manuel Miranda). This is a feeling I've had for a while: like I'm running out of time. Not that I have a terminal disease of anything, but because between my MS and a increasingly worsening case of arthritis in my hands, it is getting difficult to write and type. Oh, I know there are dictation apps I could use, but considering the MS affects my speech, that will be difficult too. However, as long as my brain is still functioning, I will find a way to create.  I normally  don't like talking about my health, but sometimes I feel like you will be able to understand why I write some of the things I write.  Maybe some of you will be able to relate. 

 
So here I go. Robert Lee Brewer is having his November Poem-a-Day Challenge. His daily prompts push me to keep writing and fight the block.

A special thanks to my husband Bill (a lot of his photos are ones used for this blog) for pushing me to be daring while I still can. Last May he convinced me to go skydiving (tandem of course, lol) among other craziness. I appreciate encouragement whenever or wherever I can find it. I'm hoping you all will follow my poetry journey for the next month and comment when you can. Thanks for reading this. 

NEVER-ENDING

No time, no energy

And a million things to do

Will it ever end?

Caren E. Salas

FIZZZZZZZZZZZZ....

I know a little bit about making plans

And then seeing them dissolve

Like Alka Seltzer in a glass of water

Plop. plop.

Fizzzzzzzzz

Watching the mental masterpiece,

The glorious dream that you've spent your life creating,

Suddenly covered in graffiti, and tossed aside.

Overwhelming feelings of shock, anger, frustration, sadness

But mostly fear well up like an out of control tsunami.

Breathe.

You can try and clean up the mess

You can look at it as a challenge and turn the graffiti into flowers

Or

Fizzzzzzzzzz

You paint the whole damn thing with white, and start over.

Be careful not to dip your paintbrush in the Alka Seltzer.

You're going to need it.

Gulp.

There you go.

Remember, I've been there.

I'm here now.
(and not just me)

I'm kind of...the glass.

Hold on to me.

Caren E. Salas

Photo: www.everydayhealth.com

AIR

Night

Air

Quiet

Stars shining

Alone with my thoughts

And praying for a little peace.

Caren E. Salas

THE WORLD SPINS ON....

The world spins on
     People love and laugh
Oblivious to the pain we feel
I try and make it make some sense
But still, it doesn't seem quite real.

And the world spins on
     People rush around
Busy with their lives, and yet
Forgetting the things that really count
That someday they might just regret.

And the world spins on
     People trample dreams
Discouraged with the life they lead
Wanting more, but doing less
They break a heart to see it bleed.

And the world spins on...


Caren E. Salas



Photo by Bill Salas

ALL RIGHT (#24 Prompt: Lost and Regained)

True, we had lost touch
But when I heard that she was gone
Without a good-bye
And no forwarding address
Nothing about it felt right.

Years passed and often
I wondered what had happened
It wasn't like her
But sometimes we lose out minds
When we're following our hearts.

One day, she was back
She worried I'd be angry
But no, not a chance
I have my friend back again
And everything is all right.


Caren E. Salas

MY DANCIN' SHOES (#23 - a poem about shoes)

I never knew 

What the years would do

To my shoes

Hidden, stored away

Melancholy memories repressed

I had all but given in

To ever wearing them again

But then...

A second chance

A brand new song

To dance to

But time had been a bit unfair

To my old shoes

And now it's clear

I'm gonna' need a new pair.

Caren E. Salas

Photo: Poshmark

NO TAPPING OUT (#14 prompt:"Time Out")

They each like to argue about what it's about;

But I'm still confused, still filled with doubt.

I just want to cover my ears up and shout,

"I need a time out! I need a time out!"

Who knows what the truth is, it all seems absurd.

I've tuned it all out. I can't hear a word.

I stare out the window and see a small bird,

As it lets out a turd, It let out a turd!

It seems not to matter who's wrong or who's right.

It's who's still alive at the end of the fight.

There's no tapping out in this race tonight;

We can only sit tight, we can only sit tight.

Caren E. Salas

LAST ONE (#13 Prompt: "Last ____")

I stand, agonizing.

Staring at the almost empty

Pink cardboard box

Of crumbs and sugary shrapnel

And one,

One last doughnut.

I look around the room.

Is it being saved for someone?

Did everybody get one?

Maybe I should just take half.

I mean, really, I don't really need it.

On the other hand,

It's not something I have everyday...

Oh, what the heck!

I should just grab it before--

Hi! 

Oh no, go ahead!

I mean, really, I don't really need it.

It's just a doughnut...

The last one. 

(I smile)

Go ahead.

(I try not to cry)

Caren E. Salas

Photo: mine
Donut: Varsity Donuts of Manhattan, Kansas  https://www.facebook.com/varsitydonuts/

ANTICIPATION (#10 - Pick an emotion)

Waiting and wondering
Nervous excitement
A happy panic
Mixed with somber confusion
Neurotic obsession
And willing delusion
A constant addiction
To imminent perceptions
Of future occasions
Filled with great trepidations
Yet euphoric optimism
Knowing and certain
Believing,,,hoping....

Waiting and wondering.


Caren E. Salas

THE INTERVIEW (#5 Experience/Inexperience)

Inexperience
Written all over his face
Passed over, again.


Caren E. Salas

Not That I'm Counting #3 - "Three ___ ____"

Three long months I have to wait

Until my next vacation

All right, about one hundred

Days more or less, give or take,

Thirteen hours, and six minutes.

But it's not like I'm counting....

Caren E. Salas

Runaway Train

                               My eyes are wide open, my hair is a mess,                                 

My blankets are tangled; can't escape from my bed.  

But the worst part is knowing despite my distress,

And I can't stop the runaway train in my head.

I'm feeling hung over, but had nothing to drink.

I expect to find shrapnel of my brains all around,

Left behind when due to unexpected ignition

My head just exploded, without making a sound.

Still the train keeps on coming, increasing in speed.

Filled with freight cars heavy with worries and fears;

And I'm tied to the tracks like the Perils of Me

Damn Pauline didn't show up, yet the audience cheers.

Was it something I said, or forgot to include?

Did I remember to lock the front door late last night?

There's the long list of things I still have to do.

Did I mess something up? Can I still make it right?

My thoughts are as tangled as the blankets and sheets

That are holding me hostage, twisted up in my bed.

The whistle is blowing; with no rescue in sight

And I can't stop the runaway train in my head.

Caren E. Salas

Photo: "Little Phil and the Nightshadows" Perils of Pauline  youtube.com

Just a Dream

Sometimes I think

It was just a dream

Another life

Me, imagining.

My dancing shoes

Have gathered dust

My singing voice 

Is a little rusty.

My body is tired.

My song is sad;

A quiet echo

Of what once I had.

But still I try

No giving in,

Discouraged by

What could have been.

It may not end 

The way I planned,

But I'm on my feet

And I can make a stand.

And if I can stand,

Then I can dance.

Another show.

Another chance.

I refuse to quit.

No surrendering,

And never stop

Remembering...

That once I thought

It was just a dream

Another life

Me, imagining.

Caren E. Salas

Photo: CSUDH  "A Chorus Line" 1988

Forgetting

I dropped the ball.
I let go of the string.
I had it down, I had it right;
But when the time came, everything...
Well, everything went out the window.
All the preparations seemed
To vanish in a fog.
How could it go
So very wrong?
So hard to pick myself back up;
Pieces of myself scattered
All over the place.
I made that leap of faith
But fell.
My self esteem has left the building;
Left with out a trace.
I blew the shot
I jumped the gun
Thinking way too much it seems;
Trying to remember, and forgetting...
Forgetting in the end...
To have fun.


Caren E. Salas


photo: www.oldnick.org.au

Counting Spoons

Twenty-four shiny measuring spoons

One for each hour of my day

How will I use them? What will I do?

Can't let them be wasted away.

Three to wake up, shower, get dressed

Taking my daughter to school: one more

Making my breakfast takes maybe a half

But shopping for groceries takes four.

A third of them gone and it's not even noon,

And there's so much left to be done.

To dust and to vacuum sucks up about five

If I sit folding clothes that's just one.

When I pick up my daughter, I'll stop at the bank

And stop at the dry cleaners too

That's about six gone, but dinner and dishes

Will take up five more and I'm through!

I'm over my budget of energy spoons

So tomorrow I'll be starting with less

Twenty-two and a half, but a new list of chores

You just can't imagine my stress.

Which, by the way, takes it's own toll in spoons

Depleting the few I can use.

And sadly the deficit continues to grow

There's nothing about this I'd choose.

But once in a while I have a great day

And somehow that seems to renew

My little supply of slightly bruised spoons

Sometimes even extras accrue.

So I plug along, counting my spoons

Knowing all will work out in the end

As long as I have a few really good times

And the help of my family and friends.

Caren E. Salas

Inspired by "The Spoon Theory" by Christine Misorandino

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

The Leap

Years of lost dreams

Excuses and reasons

Watching my life pass

Just counting the seasons.

And through all that time

I laughed and I cried

Thinking one part of me

Had already died. 

I gave up on hope

And who I used to be

Wishing new friends had met

The girl who was me.

But just when I thought

All my chances had passed

A fuse was re-lit

Now I'm having a blast!

Convinced to go back 

To the girl I once was

With the person I am

To again hear the applause.

That girl wasn't gone

Maybe just gone to sleep

And I'm not sorry that I 

Was pushed into the leap.

Caren E. Salas

Sometimes you need a nudge, a push or even explosives to encourage the leap of faith that changes everything. Thanks to my friend Jane, whose answer to "I'll just watch," was "No. YOU should audition." and to my husband Bill, who agreed: "You should. Do it." You both must know you've created a monster. Love you.